Where is the pause button, please?

How many of you got exposed to embarrassing situations that keeps playing over and over again in your mind? I really hate my brain for doing that! The worst part is that my brain fail me in remembering my keys but not those situations.

At that very moment I wish my brain was some kind of a stereo or mp3 player or a DVD just so I can have the ability to have the pause button. To just stop my mind from replying the same scene, the same words and looks over and over again. I wish I could control m brain as in fact my brain is the one in charge. I can’t control my memories, what to show and what to just keep at the very back of my box of memories. Not even deleted because the truth is that as much as those memories sometimes torture me, they keep me alerted and teach me more than one lesson. Although they might be actually hard ones.

I have been exposed to loads of unbearable embarrassing situations that with everyone I came to be in another level. For example, by time I no longer cry of shame, I learnt how to fake the perfect smile and master the most perfect lie to convince people that I might even be made of titanium. It doesn’t matter how bad things can go, I try my best not to crack even to my nearest people. However, it gets so tiring and even more torturing not to open up to someone. Someone who might understand you, feel your agony. If you have that person, just hold tight as much as you can because you two are the only reason that you two are still fighting in this life.

I guess that blog is going to be a little bit short. Despite my pounding headache, I was exposed to one of those embarrassing situations lately and it’s memory keeps flashing back in my head that makes it worse. So I just went on writing this blog, I know somewhere out there is experiencing the same thing. Therefore, I am here to tell you that you are not alone and that you are tougher than what you think and people forget so do you. Just learn from this, rather than being lost in this dilemma of blame and hiding. Maybe your luck is better than mine in finding the pause button 😉

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx


The joyful bitterness of new life stations

Are you going to university next year like me? To high school/college? Getting promoted? Or even getting married soon 😀 Those all new stations life, don’t you think?

Those life changing points can fill us with hope and fear. It fill us with hopeful dreams and smiles but stomachaches when we realise what kind of dilemma we might get through. Sometimes It can be more than just a new stage of life and sometimes it can be life changing only for us. However, we all still have those day dreams of our new life that most of the times ,if not all of it, turns 180 degree opposite to what happens in real life. Sometimes worse and other times really mind blowing. I reached to the point that I started enjoy those day dreams before I get hit with the real life, I don’t know if it’s my over imagination or luck but for me mostly turns really way way worse than I imagined. Somehow I still find the strength and hope in me to be optimistic and tell myself that one day things will go really well. That the next turning point in my life will be my lucky chapter of my life. All I need is just patience and hope. But I keep asking myself the same question every night, when? How?

Lately, I started to get convinced with the idea that whatever new experience, life stage I have in life is just the end and the starting point. The end to an old chapter and the beginning of a fresh one. I realised that when or how isn’t matter of waiting, because at the end of the day the answer to those question is me. It’s me who can say when and how. When to stop waiting for karma or for a fairy. It’s me if I want to change tomorrow, now all I have to do is get my mind to it and work. Just that simple. However, I have to get the idea that it doesn’t matter what kind of new life I am going to lead or a new chapter of my book of life, it comes with responsibilities.

Yup! That’s it’s bitter sweetness. You got the top marks to get to university, that’s amazing! But I am sorry to break the news for you, it’s not as joyful as you think it is. It comes with loads of responsibilities, loads of hard work. Just try your best to hold to it so tightly. Don’t let your dreams fly away from you.

My point is that what you have always dreamed about your new steps in your life is true, it’s there but nothing is perfect, right? All you have to do is to enjoy to the max. ,even if it wan’t as much as you have expected it to be, and try your best to make the bitter part of it has the least effect on your enjoyment. 🙂

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx