Where is the pause button, please?

How many of you got exposed to embarrassing situations that keeps playing over and over again in your mind? I really hate my brain for doing that! The worst part is that my brain fail me in remembering my keys but not those situations.

At that very moment I wish my brain was some kind of a stereo or mp3 player or a DVD just so I can have the ability to have the pause button. To just stop my mind from replying the same scene, the same words and looks over and over again. I wish I could control m brain as in fact my brain is the one in charge. I can’t control my memories, what to show and what to just keep at the very back of my box of memories. Not even deleted because the truth is that as much as those memories sometimes torture me, they keep me alerted and teach me more than one lesson. Although they might be actually hard ones.

I have been exposed to loads of unbearable embarrassing situations that with everyone I came to be in another level. For example, by time I no longer cry of shame, I learnt how to fake the perfect smile and master the most perfect lie to convince people that I might even be made of titanium. It doesn’t matter how bad things can go, I try my best not to crack even to my nearest people. However, it gets so tiring and even more torturing not to open up to someone. Someone who might understand you, feel your agony. If you have that person, just hold tight as much as you can because you two are the only reason that you two are still fighting in this life.

I guess that blog is going to be a little bit short. Despite my pounding headache, I was exposed to one of those embarrassing situations lately and it’s memory keeps flashing back in my head that makes it worse. So I just went on writing this blog, I know somewhere out there is experiencing the same thing. Therefore, I am here to tell you that you are not alone and that you are tougher than what you think and people forget so do you. Just learn from this, rather than being lost in this dilemma of blame and hiding. Maybe your luck is better than mine in finding the pause button 😉

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

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