Can someone stop feeling from the inside?

Lately, I’ve been focusing on many things such as university, career, college. In other words, my future that I am getting to forget what makes me happy or sad or make people around me.

I don’t go to school lately, for enjoying as before you know. Like for meeting my friends for example, even when I meet them outside. At the beginning when I decide to hang out with them I change my mind about it hundredth of times, I get the feeling of tiredness and laziness like “do I really have to go?” But then when I go I enjoy so much that when I come back home I say “Thank god I did go out and didn’t listen to myself.” Same with everything that I know as just a knowledge that I enjoy and make me happy but do I feel it? Nope, maybe when it’s too late.

Same with things that should make me upset but they no longer do. For example, I am a happy person like I don’t like fighting with people who live with me or an important part of my life, like my family, and feel annoyed when they fight with each other. They just bring negative energy or sad atmosphere. However, now I feel like I no longer care. Wither they fight or not, it doesn’t matter. IT might be growing up, or just turning to be numb, or maybe both. Maybe when we grow up we become numb, we lose those feelings of extreme anger, fear or happiness.  Because at the end of the day we know that things might get worse and we do expect the worse, or maybe because we believe that better things might happen in a moment we don’t expect.

We all have our believes and lies that we believe to keep us from falling apart. We all have dreams and goals that we are looking forward to. They are the only reason that we wake up everyday for and I hope that we all never stop having dreams or goals, good ones :D.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx