Is it fear or excitement?

Today was the last day of my finals for my high school/college. It means that another chapter of my life is over and a new one is about to start. Who knows what the days will bring? However, the question here is more of my mixed emotions.

Normally, I would be happy or excited about a new experience and I am but it’s not just excitement. There is more to it. It may be that I now can think more of my destiny or of what waits for me. Like before, I was happy when I shift from a school to school or from system to system or even moving from a house to another. That was the child me, the one I miss, the one that fears nothing because she still thinks that it’s still too long till things get serious. It just wasn’t that long. I am now a young adult, I can feel the responsibility of it, unlike before there is fear because time’s up!

In couple of years it would be me Vs. the world. I will have to get used to the idea that I will no longer have as much time as now to relax, let alone sleeping. I have to get to the fact that in order to live a stable, good life I will have to give up some of my fun times to myself like reading a book or waiting for my favorite TV show’s new episode. Things will be harder, I know that and I know it’s good that I know but it’s also sad that I do. It’s like the race is about to start and I am not sure yet if I can run.

It’s a ride with a “going only” ticket and I have no other option except getting onboard. I just hope for me and everyone in my place that once the trip start, that mixed thoughts and emotions will be cleared. 🙂

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

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