The wonder of human nature

Do you ever like just sit like that observing people or pass a situation that makes you think of people, or actually human nature and start thinking “Wow! Humans are weird!”

That’s practically me everyday. I wonder especially about how people’s minds and feelings work. Like the difference between people with pretty short temper and others with such patience. How people can get so moody and some with the same mood and technically the same face. Like even if you shot them they would nearly die with the same look on their face :D. It’s really weird how human beings can be so different and still can be friends, lovers and families. I am sure that the human nature or psychology to be specific is such a miracle and has dozens of varieties.

Don’t even let me start at how people’s mind work, especially in relationships. Like you will find that person whose mind can compute millions and millions of lies in a second to just get them from a fight with their partner, and on the other hand you will find that person who can’t even lie to their boss so they can keep their job that pays their rent. There are also those who can build a bunch of theories to impossible scenarios that it’s possibility of happening is as small as the possibility of the presence of aliens.

At the end of the day, it’s human nature. The only thing that non can expert because believe it or not but it will keep shocking you everyday. If you want to really do something more enjoyably than watching a movie or a TV show, watch people! I do that actually 😀 When I have nothing to do, and tired of people who are around me, I start playing music, and think of people I met today. How where they, were they happy, sad, how did they act for such simple things. Or even grab a cup of coffee or ice cream in the hot and grab a chair away from people and start watching them. That might seem actually weird, I know, but you will find people amazing you with every single action or expression. 😉 😀

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

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One star in the sky

I love looking to the sky, it makes me feel better as if i am actually flying and diving into it. However, I like looking to it at night more. But whenever I look at it, I find only one star or maybe two at most. I love how stars look as if they are pearls that are tossed onto the dark carpet of the sky.

I used to be upset when I don’t find a lot of stars in the sky when I look up. Until one day the electric current went out in the area and the lights of the houses, the street all were gone. That’s when I saw the sky in a different way, I saw the stars! So much! Beautiful! That I wished I could just live in a place where only their lights are there. But that was when I learned one more lesson, that a person can’t have all the beautiful things in the world.

Just like the stars and lights. If you want to see the light of stars, you will have to give up on the lights of the city and in such a life can we actually give up the lights of the city? Can we give up on the electricity and everything? It doesn’t matter what we think, there are facts that says no. Which means that we can’t live anything to the max of it. Because if we did, nothing will be left to live. That’s why who has money, doesn’t have peace. Who has happiness might not have fame. That’s why unfortunately when someone has everything or live everything, they might end up ending their own lives.

But that doesn’t mean that we stop trying! We should keep trying forever! We should try to find happiness even if that will make us lose something else, as long as that’s what we want. Sometimes, losing can be a great win that we can’t notice.

Just remember that the light of the stars in the sky is beautiful but you still need to charge your phone 😉

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

The endless shocks of life

It all starts when we are innocent children. We believe that the world is just as peaceful and beautiful as our parents show us. We believe that our parents are the best people ever, the perfect people. We even believe that we are perfect, just as our mothers says. But at the end of the day, it all becomes just lies or half truths that as we grow up, it hurts to un believe them. And whose fault is it? Perfectly, Nobody.

Just because parents want to protect their kids or kids for not knowing the world around them yet. The fault is when we actually know them late or refuse to believe them. That’s when we get to find the paths of our lives, it’s either people be injustice for us or we are injustice towards ourselves.  It’s like when they know what we don’t know and they don’t tell us and keep it for themselves for a good reason or not. The same goes when we know the truth ourselves but we don’t want to believe, it’s like we keep that truth from ourselves and the shocks in life goes on and on.

It’s true that life isn’t always black and white. That the shades of grey are there too, we get the fact as we grow up. As when we are kids we believe that it’s completely white and sometimes through life we get to the point to believe that life is so dark. While the truth at the end always shocks us. It’s even that shocking when we figure out that even our blind spots towards the people we love is as strong and hot as the fire, when we think that we know them the most.

It’s life! Full of surprises! The good ones and unfortunately the bad ones. The only thing we can do is to get used to it and skip the shock as fast as we can so we can live life to the max 😉

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Is it fear or excitement?

Today was the last day of my finals for my high school/college. It means that another chapter of my life is over and a new one is about to start. Who knows what the days will bring? However, the question here is more of my mixed emotions.

Normally, I would be happy or excited about a new experience and I am but it’s not just excitement. There is more to it. It may be that I now can think more of my destiny or of what waits for me. Like before, I was happy when I shift from a school to school or from system to system or even moving from a house to another. That was the child me, the one I miss, the one that fears nothing because she still thinks that it’s still too long till things get serious. It just wasn’t that long. I am now a young adult, I can feel the responsibility of it, unlike before there is fear because time’s up!

In couple of years it would be me Vs. the world. I will have to get used to the idea that I will no longer have as much time as now to relax, let alone sleeping. I have to get to the fact that in order to live a stable, good life I will have to give up some of my fun times to myself like reading a book or waiting for my favorite TV show’s new episode. Things will be harder, I know that and I know it’s good that I know but it’s also sad that I do. It’s like the race is about to start and I am not sure yet if I can run.

It’s a ride with a “going only” ticket and I have no other option except getting onboard. I just hope for me and everyone in my place that once the trip start, that mixed thoughts and emotions will be cleared. 🙂

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

I lost my self in fantasy

Do you know the feeling when you basically has nothing to do or like your life is nothing more than just days to be spent? Well, most of my life is like this, therefore, I escape at every chance I find. However, I just escape mentally.

I watch Tv shows and movies to forget about my own movie or listen to music and imagine a world that I belong to just in my dreams or I just read a book, and make myself the hero of it. When the heroes in the book runs I run with them when they laugh I laugh with them when they think I think with them. As I can’t be in the middle of an adventure physically, my mind and my imagination can just break free unlike my body. The problem here is that I got tired.

Now, my imagination or fantasy isn’t enough for me. I now want to actually run, to think, to find people who are willing to run and laugh and cry with me. It’s like the game is over, the fantasy took my soul and mind and wants my body too. The idea is, I no longer know if living a fantasy would be possible or in other words, my dreams. Will I ever be able to break free? Will I ever find the job I dream of? Or find friends who I dream of their existence? The kind who would run and would pass all kind of troubles with each other. Or will it all end just like today and yesterday? Will it be living a life I want to change and all I can do is just dream of myself changing it over a song that gives me the vibe to just change it in my mind?

Will one day be different from every day in a better way?

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Dear diary, can you hear me?

About a couple of months ago I started writing my diary, not in daily based though. And I found out that, even the diary would get annoyed by my life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I am not grateful or so. It’s just that it’s weird when you see that someone you’ve been writing about a month ago as your friend, when you mention his/her name today, he is no longer one. It’s weird that when just a couple of days ago you were talking about studying or watching tv shows or going out and today you are writing that your finals is after tomorrow. Time flies! That’s one of the few quotes that I totally believe, and it doesn’t matter if that time is happy or sad anymore. Both ways it will pass by the blink of eye.

It’s like even my diary can’t even keep up with me from my speed or actually that most of the days look like each other. What I did today, I’ve done yesterday and will do tomorrow. I am not a celeb or a royal or even a fictional character to have a new exciting adventure to write about. Even my high school years passed way less daramatic than how you see in movies (by the way! Grateful for that! :D).

It’s just life! Or at least life for normal people like you and me and sometimes for celebs and royals too! 😀

But at the end of the day, my diary is still there to know my best, worst and super boring days, unlike many of my friends, or who I thought were my friends. Thanks to it and to you too, because my blogs kind of about my days too ;).

Always welcomes to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

 

Sorry, I’m not sorry for who I am

Do you ever hate it when people expect way more than you can afford, although you have done your best? As if it’s not even enough to make you feel bad about yourself, they even say it.

Well, I am sorry but I am not sorry for who I am. I might be not that good for you but I am perfect to someone else or something else. It’s my fault that I picked the wrong address. Lately, I’ve been giving it much of a thought if I actually picked the wrong life, the wrong future. I don’t know if it’s just my fears or my parents’ talking about how much of a failure I am, or it’s just the normal worry of people in my age. I just know that I love what I want to study but in a different way than my parents and family’s vision. It’s not like I also have loads of options to pick. Also if I want that future I want I will have to change things 180 degrees and work really but really hard. Let’s say a MAJOR change of plans.

I might be spoiled and irresponsible as my father say or stupid enough that I don’t know what’s good for me like my mum says. I might be doing nothing all day long except watching tv shows or surfing the internet, but I am at least trying to find my own peace because I can’t find it in my life. The peace I mean too isn’t actually relaxing, but actually doing something meaningful, that actually shows who I am.

I am sorry but I am not sorry for who I am. It doesn’t matter to me how you see me, I know who I am and I am happy to be her.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

Cherophobia – My own fear of happiness

I actually searched the term. Have you ever laughed so much and prayed in your heart that you don’t cry as much as you laughed later?

That’s me, every single time I laugh, I smile or just be happy. I don’t know if it’s my luck or my destiny but it doesn’t matter with how much I get happy I find the same amount of sadness or anger later. like for example last week I was going to my exam and I was so happy for some reason, not for the exam for sure, I put on my music and rolled down the car windows enjoying my music and I just smiled. To figure out that I forgot my bag and I had to go all the way back home to get my bag. I know that it’s stupidity of me but accidents happens right?

The idea is that I am tired of being the game of luck or destiny. I am a happy person by nature. I don’t get upset over things easily, and always when I have a problem I don’t cry over it, I think of a solution so that problem is over as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, people around me and my world isn’t as comfortable or happy as I am, that every time I smile I know that I will pay for that tiny movement of my mouth.

It’s hard to be piece that doesn’t belong to the puzzle. It’s hard to always suffer for a moment of rest. But after all I will still smile 😉

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

Can someone stop feeling from the inside?

Lately, I’ve been focusing on many things such as university, career, college. In other words, my future that I am getting to forget what makes me happy or sad or make people around me.

I don’t go to school lately, for enjoying as before you know. Like for meeting my friends for example, even when I meet them outside. At the beginning when I decide to hang out with them I change my mind about it hundredth of times, I get the feeling of tiredness and laziness like “do I really have to go?” But then when I go I enjoy so much that when I come back home I say “Thank god I did go out and didn’t listen to myself.” Same with everything that I know as just a knowledge that I enjoy and make me happy but do I feel it? Nope, maybe when it’s too late.

Same with things that should make me upset but they no longer do. For example, I am a happy person like I don’t like fighting with people who live with me or an important part of my life, like my family, and feel annoyed when they fight with each other. They just bring negative energy or sad atmosphere. However, now I feel like I no longer care. Wither they fight or not, it doesn’t matter. IT might be growing up, or just turning to be numb, or maybe both. Maybe when we grow up we become numb, we lose those feelings of extreme anger, fear or happiness.  Because at the end of the day we know that things might get worse and we do expect the worse, or maybe because we believe that better things might happen in a moment we don’t expect.

We all have our believes and lies that we believe to keep us from falling apart. We all have dreams and goals that we are looking forward to. They are the only reason that we wake up everyday for and I hope that we all never stop having dreams or goals, good ones :D.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

We need happily ever after endings more than we think

The past few days I spent most of my free time, if not all, reading books. Well, I’d like to tell you which books but I don’t want to spoil it for any of you who is going to read it.

Anyway, it was a series and the end of it was an upnorml one: A not happily ever after ending. like imaging soending yourself spending days and hourse fillping through the book pages while you are having breakfast, in the bus, before you sleep. You just can’t let it go. Until I got attached more than I usually do. It happens with me most of the time, like after watching or reading something it stays in my mind for a while. However, with all that I’ve read and watched it had one of the usual endings. The ending that makes you satisfied, the kind of happy one. Naturally, I like new ideas and weird ideas. I don’t know what made upset from such an end, although it’s brilliant.

It made me realise that maybe I like weird ideas, un expected endings but I don’t enjoy them. Like I would write them if it was my novel but I would not read them. Unexpected things makes us think of it more than usual, right? Therefore, if the unexpected thing is not as pleasent as we wish, we would keep thinking of it. So the more we think of it, if it’s negative thing or memory, the more we feel as if we can no longer sit still or breath as if the room’s walls are getting closer. At least that’s what I feel.

That’s when the idea that it doesn’t what we believe in, what we think of, we will always need the happy endings came to my mind. Because in the middle of all the darkness of the real life, reading a book, watching a movie, listening to a song are few ways that can make us no longer be living in the real world, that’s the only escape wecan get when we can’t afford anything else. Until one day we can have one of those in our lives :).

Always welcomed to the corner,
Menna Xx