Gave up asking for it

By “it”, I mean love, friendship, kindness, happiness, or even sadness. It’s like they are no longer things that can just happen or have. Even those are now valuable currencies that you have to work for to get like money or anything in life.

Now when my parents or elder people talk about the past and how things where. Like how good friends they had or how happy they were with low money and simple jobs, they just as any fictional story I have ever read. Sometimes I even laugh at how we have reached these days. Laugh with a crying heart.

Now to have friend you have to be really nice, really friendly and it doesn’t matter how good friends or even how “besties” you are, don’t give then your secret or at least not all of it because life and people are no longer as kind and as trustworthy as we hear or read or watch. Life and dreams aren’t the same thing. You wish for true love and you find yourself in a weird relationship that you call love but it’s everything else other than that. You try to trust that one friend, just one not even group as we see in movies and that one person  makes you face the worst surprise of your life.

When I list those facts to myself or my mum for example, she calls me cold. The idea is that I have to be like that. I have not to trust people with my secrets or be too caring because I am not actually cold, I am just trying to protect myself from heart-breaking or an un smiley face. Unfortunately, that’s what life has taught me. I would never wish for such a life, such an act. But that’s how the drama of life goes. Who changed the rules who made people actors with masks and hidden hearts? No one really knows. Maybe us, maybe wars, maybe situations and conditions people until now passed by. Maybe all of them.

I am just wishing one day the rules would change again and maybe I would be telling my children or even grandchildren about how happy easy life I had and hopefully they won’t laugh with a crying heart like me now. I can’t lose hope after all. You too don’t 🙂

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

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The endless shocks of life

It all starts when we are innocent children. We believe that the world is just as peaceful and beautiful as our parents show us. We believe that our parents are the best people ever, the perfect people. We even believe that we are perfect, just as our mothers says. But at the end of the day, it all becomes just lies or half truths that as we grow up, it hurts to un believe them. And whose fault is it? Perfectly, Nobody.

Just because parents want to protect their kids or kids for not knowing the world around them yet. The fault is when we actually know them late or refuse to believe them. That’s when we get to find the paths of our lives, it’s either people be injustice for us or we are injustice towards ourselves.  It’s like when they know what we don’t know and they don’t tell us and keep it for themselves for a good reason or not. The same goes when we know the truth ourselves but we don’t want to believe, it’s like we keep that truth from ourselves and the shocks in life goes on and on.

It’s true that life isn’t always black and white. That the shades of grey are there too, we get the fact as we grow up. As when we are kids we believe that it’s completely white and sometimes through life we get to the point to believe that life is so dark. While the truth at the end always shocks us. It’s even that shocking when we figure out that even our blind spots towards the people we love is as strong and hot as the fire, when we think that we know them the most.

It’s life! Full of surprises! The good ones and unfortunately the bad ones. The only thing we can do is to get used to it and skip the shock as fast as we can so we can live life to the max 😉

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

I lost my self in fantasy

Do you know the feeling when you basically has nothing to do or like your life is nothing more than just days to be spent? Well, most of my life is like this, therefore, I escape at every chance I find. However, I just escape mentally.

I watch Tv shows and movies to forget about my own movie or listen to music and imagine a world that I belong to just in my dreams or I just read a book, and make myself the hero of it. When the heroes in the book runs I run with them when they laugh I laugh with them when they think I think with them. As I can’t be in the middle of an adventure physically, my mind and my imagination can just break free unlike my body. The problem here is that I got tired.

Now, my imagination or fantasy isn’t enough for me. I now want to actually run, to think, to find people who are willing to run and laugh and cry with me. It’s like the game is over, the fantasy took my soul and mind and wants my body too. The idea is, I no longer know if living a fantasy would be possible or in other words, my dreams. Will I ever be able to break free? Will I ever find the job I dream of? Or find friends who I dream of their existence? The kind who would run and would pass all kind of troubles with each other. Or will it all end just like today and yesterday? Will it be living a life I want to change and all I can do is just dream of myself changing it over a song that gives me the vibe to just change it in my mind?

Will one day be different from every day in a better way?

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Dear diary, can you hear me?

About a couple of months ago I started writing my diary, not in daily based though. And I found out that, even the diary would get annoyed by my life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I am not grateful or so. It’s just that it’s weird when you see that someone you’ve been writing about a month ago as your friend, when you mention his/her name today, he is no longer one. It’s weird that when just a couple of days ago you were talking about studying or watching tv shows or going out and today you are writing that your finals is after tomorrow. Time flies! That’s one of the few quotes that I totally believe, and it doesn’t matter if that time is happy or sad anymore. Both ways it will pass by the blink of eye.

It’s like even my diary can’t even keep up with me from my speed or actually that most of the days look like each other. What I did today, I’ve done yesterday and will do tomorrow. I am not a celeb or a royal or even a fictional character to have a new exciting adventure to write about. Even my high school years passed way less daramatic than how you see in movies (by the way! Grateful for that! :D).

It’s just life! Or at least life for normal people like you and me and sometimes for celebs and royals too! 😀

But at the end of the day, my diary is still there to know my best, worst and super boring days, unlike many of my friends, or who I thought were my friends. Thanks to it and to you too, because my blogs kind of about my days too ;).

Always welcomes to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

 

Sorry, I’m not sorry for who I am

Do you ever hate it when people expect way more than you can afford, although you have done your best? As if it’s not even enough to make you feel bad about yourself, they even say it.

Well, I am sorry but I am not sorry for who I am. I might be not that good for you but I am perfect to someone else or something else. It’s my fault that I picked the wrong address. Lately, I’ve been giving it much of a thought if I actually picked the wrong life, the wrong future. I don’t know if it’s just my fears or my parents’ talking about how much of a failure I am, or it’s just the normal worry of people in my age. I just know that I love what I want to study but in a different way than my parents and family’s vision. It’s not like I also have loads of options to pick. Also if I want that future I want I will have to change things 180 degrees and work really but really hard. Let’s say a MAJOR change of plans.

I might be spoiled and irresponsible as my father say or stupid enough that I don’t know what’s good for me like my mum says. I might be doing nothing all day long except watching tv shows or surfing the internet, but I am at least trying to find my own peace because I can’t find it in my life. The peace I mean too isn’t actually relaxing, but actually doing something meaningful, that actually shows who I am.

I am sorry but I am not sorry for who I am. It doesn’t matter to me how you see me, I know who I am and I am happy to be her.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

Non-medical painkillers

I guess that from the title you thought that you will find some kind of groovy recipe with natural seeds and plants that ends up understanding nothing from what you read and end up calling your mum for a solution or doctor.

Well, don’t worry it’s such an easy understandable ways that you might be using everyday or right now! The type of painkillers I am talking about is the modern easy ways of leaving all of our lives behind our backs for seconds. Having a break from all the tension we pass by.

The new definition of “Living your life”

In the past, they used to say that living your life is just about fun, being surrounded by people you love, and relax. Knowing that what is coming can be handled.

People at that time used to be easy and simple. They used to laugh easily and a lot. Unfortunately, those people are in the age of 80+ and maybe gone.. leaving the new society with some conecpts they were taught that can’t cope with these days.

In the last couple of years, I realized that enjoying my life can be without people who love me, I mean who does? Everyone these days is busy for making himself/herself the best. So how can you find someone someone who cares and loves you knowing that they actually might betray you. So! I decided that I would enjoy my life with or without people caring for me, which makes my life easier for not caring who left my life or got into it. Life is like a train and a train doesn’t carry the same people all way. 

Secondly, I decided to do what I want even if people find it silly or annoying as long as it’s not wrong. I mean sometime you do annoy me and I don’t speak. Oh! And about that too! I decided that the best way of living a true with no worries life is telling the truth.

Truth makes you relaxed that you are not hiding anything. You are not hiding your feelings or worry all the time about the next action.

So! To sum this up, the 3 secrets of living your life now is truth, enjoying (even silly things), and let people go without much of regret.

I hope that makes it easy for you to open up about what makes you feel bad for and start living your life the best you can. 

What do you think ?? Do you have any more ways for enjoying life ? Do you do any of these and really made the change ?? 😀

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Fake Human Relations war

We all try to keep everyone satisfied. We try to keep everyone by our side. Unfortunately, that’s impossible.

For me it looks like a war. Sometimes I sit by myself thinking, why can’t everything be easy?? Why can’t we just be true and happy?? 

Human nature is greedy. We technically want everything for the minimum loss. That can’t happen because we can’t have everything. Same with people. We want everyone to be our friend. We want that perfect boyfriend/girlfriend. We want those awesome parents. We want those ideal people we see in movies and tv shows. But basically, they don’t exist. We expect much that makes us hardly accept the truth.

And when I said in the title ” Fake Human Relations War” I meant it. Because if the relation is true there won’t be a war. I mean by war when you do everything to make this relationship works or to stay friends. If that relation is true you won’t have to do anything to survive it. 

Those relationships and friendships are costly too. I don’t mean costly as “money” I mean in “emotions” “pressure”. They keep us doing the maths all the time and thinking about our next action or word hundreds of times before actually doing them. That makes so much pressure on our feelings, emotions and sometimes they can cost us our jobs, other people who truly love us, and more awesome physical things..

Honestly, don’t run after someone you want. The person who loves you so much and wants you will try everything to reach you, he will help you when u need it without asking the help. He will forgive you most of the time. Moreover, you will have a free relationship or friendship with no hate or calculations of your actions and it will be fun! 

Don’t search for perfection. Search for peace, love and more importantly happiness 🙂

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna xx

Be calm no matter what 

Calm is a word of peace and happiniess. Who doesn’t want to live calm ?? I think non !

With all the stress we are exposed to everyday, the stress of living is getting more and more everyday and if you didn’t stay calm it will affect your own life that you are stressed about. The question here is How ??

It’s hard to stay calm around such a missy situation but believe me what makes it worse is stressing. So try always to focus of the solution of any problem stop regretting and blaming. When you have the urge to cry for example, cry ! Yes cry. Don’t say that no I am strong and so on. You are strong that’s true but you are a human with a limit and feelings also remember that. 

Try to have a holiday from everything once in a while (even from your phone). So you can empty yourself from all the bad things and stress you passed through so far and continue in your full power. 

Don’t stress yourself for someone. Remember that it’s your life that your living not people’s. It also happens one time so enjoy it to max. However, live as if you live forever and work as if you die tomorrow.

Keep only positive vibes around you. That’s the key. Don’t let anything or anyone take you down. 

Finally, enjoy sticking to the people who care for you and love you and you have the same feelings for them. Keep only the happy things surround you. And make your choices wisely and what makes you satisfied.

Welcome to the corner,

Menna xx

Search for fun

Vacation is about to be over and school is around the corner. So I decided to seek for some fun even if it’s just simple thing or people call it silly.


I am going to year 11 and I still play those  video games like delicious Emily and dinner dash 😀 sounds silly I know but believe me this is from the stuff that makes me Happy.

I also read some sweet books before sleeping. It doesn’t have to be informative books or reading it for gaining information or sad story. Offcourse it’s a good thing but sometimes it makes you not interested in completing it. So I started reading sweet books that have some good words to learn and takes me to another world, giving me the chance to forget all that I passed by the whole day.

Most important is music ! Yup ! Music is my soul medication actually – that’s how I call it- sometimes I create a world that I wish I could live in real life and make stories in my imagination but I enjoy it as it maybe seem wierd I know 😀

Don’t give up a source that gives you happiness. Don’t care for who call it silly or wasting time. As long as it makes you happy then it’s not a waste of time, it’s not silly and worth doing it even once in a while 🙂

Welcome to the corner,

Menna xx