Time passes, wish it would fly

A year ago, I had dreams. Big dreams, somehow unrealistic one even. However, I always had a complete faith in me. I knew that one day I might reach those dreams. But now, I don’t know.

I mean everyday I wake up, I cross my fingers that it’s going to be a good one. A day that I will do something extra, something that will restore that faith in my dreams back again. Just as I walk out from the door, my hopes hit the ground again.

The people I used to laugh with, talk to or even share simple, pure moments with, are no longer there. They are there but we say hellos and byes like strangers now. That if we even came to say them. I think I lost my track but did I? I started double thinking and doubting everything in my life again. Every choice I made. Just it’s too late for me to doubt anything now. People are hoping big of me but in fact I am hoping bigger.

All I dreamed of that all the years of pain, and hard working would finally pay. Pay as much as I worked for them. I think that’s fair, isn’t it? I really wish they would one day.

But after all of that I still have faith, it might have decreased but I still do and I am always trying to keep that way. I don’t want to waste all of my faith in seeing what other faithless people do. Spiteful person, or liar or even the stranger who ones were the nearest to me are no longer there, will never pull me down to the bottom. Even if they did, remember that always the bottom is the least you can get, the only way left for you to go by then is up.

It all depends on you. Do you want to stay at the bottom, or rise?

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

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Fed up yet?

We all have that person who makes you help him with their job/assignment and guess what! They don’t even remember you on normal bases. You are their favorite when a deadline is coming up or exams are just around the corner. There is that other type that uses you for who you are, like money, connections, intelligence and the worst part? They show that they care about you even though they are using you.

Those exactly the type of people who you always have the urge to punch them in the face. However, you don’t and mostly you end up doing what they wanted in the first place. I mean I am even mad writing about them, that my typing speed is faster than light now.

I know they are annoying, but they exist and they are not going to go away any time soon. It doesn’t matter how much you try to build your walls or make your boarders clear, they find their way e-v-e-r-y t-i-m-e. Therefore, don’t bother, just find a way to keep them within the space you want them to be.

I mean sometimes they actually need the help and it’s not affecting you, then so what. Helping is good, but not always though. In other words, just help when you can and when you can’t or will affect you then simply and politely just refuse. Some don’t understand words, right?! No problem! We are going to let them understand. Turn them down once, twice, probably they will catch up on the idea that you can’t or not able to help them. If after all of that they are still showing “disrespect” then unfortunately, their hearts might be a little broken. Just be brave and say it! Though try saying it in a good way. 😀

I know, not helping is a bad thing but sometimes, there are people who don’t need help but still they want to know what you got. Like that guy in college that would get straight As but still asks you about the answers of questions that he already knows, just to know what you got extra. Those are not help, that’s called time wasting. Instead, you could use that time to help someone who is really in need of help, like yourself or that other guy in the same class who really tries his best to learn the lesson but he can’t just keep up with the professor.

That was a long one, but at the end I hope I could show my idea in the best meaning of it. Some people really deserve to be helped and allowed in our lives. On the other hand, unfortunately, some don’t, they would just cause troubles more than anything. And my point here is to keep them away, for your own and everybody around you who you care about’s sake.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

People are the weirdest

It has been so long since my last blog, but life hasn’t been that easy and the reason? People, people, people. We are really weird a mystery that will never be solved.

People forget you within a night. If they want.

You know that feeling that you’ve been just talking to that person the night before and then comes the next day as if you last night was a day dream, you have never opened to this one. However, if they want something from you, oh my god! You will be like their best friend for life, that you might even think that you are going to be his best man or her bridesmaid, until they get what you have, or what they want from you.

Some are real though.

Just to be fair, not all of them. Some approaches you with good, real intention. It’s rare and not all of us meet that kind of people who really want to be friends with us or care for us. It’s hard these days to know who’s good and who’s bad but time and situations show us the good, real ones. Everything comes at a price after all. So just watch out for who really cares for you and who would hit your back with a sharp knife.

We are only human after all.

I get that with the hard life we are living, it became harder to find the right people or trust people, but isn’t that tiring? It is. I mean we are humans, we need to have friends, families, people we love. I know that but the falling apart always comes after trusting the wrong person. And it doesn’t matter how much we get warned we just fall for it, it has nothing to do with our IQ. Smart or not has nothing to do with our guts or feelings. We are human, we do mistakes ALL THE TIME AND WE WILL KEEP DOING THEM. The point here is how hard are we willing to fall apart because of that person? Here comes the IQ.

Forest

As I told you above what made me away for long was life and everyday I suffer from people. Their bad ambitions that can be built on the wreckage of your own ambitious and successes. That’s how life made us. a huge, big forest and we are fighting each other. The question here, how long are we willing to keep fighting?

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Standards are made not met

Lately, I’ve been thinking if standards that are just there how are they just there? I mean someone must have made them and as they are made then we can made ours too, right?

Success & Failure

For instance, the success or failure, are two standards that are measured in many ways; like grades for example. It’s true that having a high grade can show how good you are collecting information, but it has absolutely nothing to do with your success, or creativity. I mean having high grades can show that you are good in understanding your lessons and studying but it’s not necessary an indication of a success in practical life and I think that’s a common knowledge that most of us are told or know by first hand experience. So, the concept of success and failure comes in many other ways like your personal life too. I mean not because you were never in a relationship before, then you can’t be in one. Maybe you are one who appreciate it so much and really committed that you are just waiting for the right person. Same for your practical life. Not because you are just photocopying papers in an office then you can’t do the higher jobs. Who knows? Maybe your boss doesn’t know how to use the photocopier. 😀

My point is…

We are different, we are really good in different standards that not all will understand, just like many standards in our society that never make sense to us, but a big deal for others. Therefore, somehow we made our own standards as we move on in this life. As long as we meet them, then we are fortunate! We are the ones who would show people how important are our standards. Maybe they will never understand but they might appreciate it. As we do appreciate theirs.

One day,

Life might be easier. More thoughtful and hopeful, with less high standards that can be so high and crushing for some people. Praise the real you in you, then maybe you can find the peace, success and happiness you were searching for.

 

One wish

If while shopping for the new year’s you passed by an antique shop and found an old lamp that you liked, then you bought it. After going home you tried to clean the dust on it and a genie came out of the lamp and asked you to wish one wish, only one. What would you wish?

(P.S. wishing to have more than one wish is not allowed 😀 )

For me, I would wish to relive all the moments of happiness that I lived for my first things, like my first mobile phone, yeah I am old enough that when i was a child mobile phones weren’t that easy to get one as a child, or my first big toy or my first trip with my family, or my first time I went to the beach. More and more, countless moments that as I grew up, they started to fad. the feeling for anything new meant a new start that would mean more responsibility or actually being an adult. Like my first day at university. I got the university I want, I was so happy but then I remembered that it’s just the start for something bigger. Life would never be easy as it used to be.

But the saddest part? That somehow with all the stress or new planning for life ahead I forgot along how to be that happy. Purely happy, just like a child. True, I learned how to be differently happy like learning new things or even being behind the wheel for the first time, yeah I like cars. That’s a different kind of happiness, maybe adulthood happiness, the one that comes with it’s worried or danger. It felt and tasted differently but never like the careless happiness of childhood.

What are you wishes? Share them below in the comments, maybe you can find you wish-mate.

Happy New Year Everyone! Wish this year brings you that happiness, success that you want and get you closer with who you love.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

It’s not by the number

The number of people that get into your life can be so important to you that you forget that one day they might get out of it. In fact, you celebrate, chat and laugh as if you will never cry of this person. As if your laughs sound will ring in the sky forever.

Friendships, love stories, families and relatives. All of those are people who shape us, make us rougher with a thicker skin or make us lightheaded with a smiling heart and peaceful mind. Those same people can make your looks change, crash that smiling heart. It comes in waves. There’s nothing always the same or guaranteed.

However, what I can guarantee is that the more people get into your life, into your heart. The more it will get crushed, the thicker your skin will get and the more your looks will change. I wish people understand that the moment we welcome them to our lives, we are not just considering them people, they are a part of our story now. They have at least a role or two in each chapter of my life. Even when they are gone or left for better or worse they will always be remembered. They are simply parts of the big book of our life stories. We are all parts of each other’s life books.

Therefore, it’s just not by the number of people who are in your life. It’s just by the number of warm smiles, kind hearts around you. People who wish you the best. They appreciate you, unlike others who consider you piece of the puzzle, that if they lost it or ruined it, it won’t matter as you can be replaced with other pieces to complete their life.

We are way more valuable than that. You are way way more valuable that that. We deserve that kind of people who without them life really can’t keep going for them or for us. We are not disposable. We, humans, are much more weaker than glass we just look like titanium.

So, be careful who you allow to your life, and remember that it’s not by the number of people but what’s inside them.

Always welcomed the corner,

Menna Xx

Gave up asking for it

By “it”, I mean love, friendship, kindness, happiness, or even sadness. It’s like they are no longer things that can just happen or have. Even those are now valuable currencies that you have to work for to get like money or anything in life.

Now when my parents or elder people talk about the past and how things where. Like how good friends they had or how happy they were with low money and simple jobs, they just as any fictional story I have ever read. Sometimes I even laugh at how we have reached these days. Laugh with a crying heart.

Now to have friend you have to be really nice, really friendly and it doesn’t matter how good friends or even how “besties” you are, don’t give then your secret or at least not all of it because life and people are no longer as kind and as trustworthy as we hear or read or watch. Life and dreams aren’t the same thing. You wish for true love and you find yourself in a weird relationship that you call love but it’s everything else other than that. You try to trust that one friend, just one not even group as we see in movies and that one person  makes you face the worst surprise of your life.

When I list those facts to myself or my mum for example, she calls me cold. The idea is that I have to be like that. I have not to trust people with my secrets or be too caring because I am not actually cold, I am just trying to protect myself from heart-breaking or an un smiley face. Unfortunately, that’s what life has taught me. I would never wish for such a life, such an act. But that’s how the drama of life goes. Who changed the rules who made people actors with masks and hidden hearts? No one really knows. Maybe us, maybe wars, maybe situations and conditions people until now passed by. Maybe all of them.

I am just wishing one day the rules would change again and maybe I would be telling my children or even grandchildren about how happy easy life I had and hopefully they won’t laugh with a crying heart like me now. I can’t lose hope after all. You too don’t 🙂

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

The wonder of human nature

Do you ever like just sit like that observing people or pass a situation that makes you think of people, or actually human nature and start thinking “Wow! Humans are weird!”

That’s practically me everyday. I wonder especially about how people’s minds and feelings work. Like the difference between people with pretty short temper and others with such patience. How people can get so moody and some with the same mood and technically the same face. Like even if you shot them they would nearly die with the same look on their face :D. It’s really weird how human beings can be so different and still can be friends, lovers and families. I am sure that the human nature or psychology to be specific is such a miracle and has dozens of varieties.

Don’t even let me start at how people’s mind work, especially in relationships. Like you will find that person whose mind can compute millions and millions of lies in a second to just get them from a fight with their partner, and on the other hand you will find that person who can’t even lie to their boss so they can keep their job that pays their rent. There are also those who can build a bunch of theories to impossible scenarios that it’s possibility of happening is as small as the possibility of the presence of aliens.

At the end of the day, it’s human nature. The only thing that non can expert because believe it or not but it will keep shocking you everyday. If you want to really do something more enjoyably than watching a movie or a TV show, watch people! I do that actually 😀 When I have nothing to do, and tired of people who are around me, I start playing music, and think of people I met today. How where they, were they happy, sad, how did they act for such simple things. Or even grab a cup of coffee or ice cream in the hot and grab a chair away from people and start watching them. That might seem actually weird, I know, but you will find people amazing you with every single action or expression. 😉 😀

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

Dear diary, can you hear me?

About a couple of months ago I started writing my diary, not in daily based though. And I found out that, even the diary would get annoyed by my life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I am not grateful or so. It’s just that it’s weird when you see that someone you’ve been writing about a month ago as your friend, when you mention his/her name today, he is no longer one. It’s weird that when just a couple of days ago you were talking about studying or watching tv shows or going out and today you are writing that your finals is after tomorrow. Time flies! That’s one of the few quotes that I totally believe, and it doesn’t matter if that time is happy or sad anymore. Both ways it will pass by the blink of eye.

It’s like even my diary can’t even keep up with me from my speed or actually that most of the days look like each other. What I did today, I’ve done yesterday and will do tomorrow. I am not a celeb or a royal or even a fictional character to have a new exciting adventure to write about. Even my high school years passed way less daramatic than how you see in movies (by the way! Grateful for that! :D).

It’s just life! Or at least life for normal people like you and me and sometimes for celebs and royals too! 😀

But at the end of the day, my diary is still there to know my best, worst and super boring days, unlike many of my friends, or who I thought were my friends. Thanks to it and to you too, because my blogs kind of about my days too ;).

Always welcomes to the corner,

Menna Xx

 

 

Can someone stop feeling from the inside?

Lately, I’ve been focusing on many things such as university, career, college. In other words, my future that I am getting to forget what makes me happy or sad or make people around me.

I don’t go to school lately, for enjoying as before you know. Like for meeting my friends for example, even when I meet them outside. At the beginning when I decide to hang out with them I change my mind about it hundredth of times, I get the feeling of tiredness and laziness like “do I really have to go?” But then when I go I enjoy so much that when I come back home I say “Thank god I did go out and didn’t listen to myself.” Same with everything that I know as just a knowledge that I enjoy and make me happy but do I feel it? Nope, maybe when it’s too late.

Same with things that should make me upset but they no longer do. For example, I am a happy person like I don’t like fighting with people who live with me or an important part of my life, like my family, and feel annoyed when they fight with each other. They just bring negative energy or sad atmosphere. However, now I feel like I no longer care. Wither they fight or not, it doesn’t matter. IT might be growing up, or just turning to be numb, or maybe both. Maybe when we grow up we become numb, we lose those feelings of extreme anger, fear or happiness.  Because at the end of the day we know that things might get worse and we do expect the worse, or maybe because we believe that better things might happen in a moment we don’t expect.

We all have our believes and lies that we believe to keep us from falling apart. We all have dreams and goals that we are looking forward to. They are the only reason that we wake up everyday for and I hope that we all never stop having dreams or goals, good ones :D.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx