Time passes, wish it would fly

A year ago, I had dreams. Big dreams, somehow unrealistic one even. However, I always had a complete faith in me. I knew that one day I might reach those dreams. But now, I don’t know.

I mean everyday I wake up, I cross my fingers that it’s going to be a good one. A day that I will do something extra, something that will restore that faith in my dreams back again. Just as I walk out from the door, my hopes hit the ground again.

The people I used to laugh with, talk to or even share simple, pure moments with, are no longer there. They are there but we say hellos and byes like strangers now. That if we even came to say them. I think I lost my track but did I? I started double thinking and doubting everything in my life again. Every choice I made. Just it’s too late for me to doubt anything now. People are hoping big of me but in fact I am hoping bigger.

All I dreamed of that all the years of pain, and hard working would finally pay. Pay as much as I worked for them. I think that’s fair, isn’t it? I really wish they would one day.

But after all of that I still have faith, it might have decreased but I still do and I am always trying to keep that way. I don’t want to waste all of my faith in seeing what other faithless people do. Spiteful person, or liar or even the stranger who ones were the nearest to me are no longer there, will never pull me down to the bottom. Even if they did, remember that always the bottom is the least you can get, the only way left for you to go by then is up.

It all depends on you. Do you want to stay at the bottom, or rise?

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Advertisements

Araf

Sometimes I wish I would just lay in bed all day. Just listen to music, read books, I don’t just stay away from life, from people and everything. Like i want a holiday from the world.

I’ve been feeling that a lot lately. Sometimes I just want to be out all day and enjoy my life by doing whatever I feel like. Here’s the trick, tho. I can’t do both. My life isn’t that easy to just do whatever I want and go outside or complicated enough that makes me stay in bed all day. It’s like I am somewhere between heaven and hell.

Sometimes I wonder how would it be to be in heaven, like the simplest life ever there can be. Or at least simpler than this. Just like the movies we see, you know. Sometimes I wonder how would it be like to be in the hell of life. Always on the fire line, on the run. The harshest life there ever. Other times, I think if I would wish the life I am living if I were in both sides, simple or harsh life.

Some days I feel like I am just in track, I know what exactly I am doing and where to go. Other days, I am just in “Araf”. I was watching a tv show the past day and a quote caught my attention. The quote said:

“Araf is to stay in between. Darkness and light, love and hatred, mind and madness, death and life, right and wrong, good and evil is to stay between.

I wanted to write this blog to let who is feeling the same like me now, that they are not alone. Also that as we are in such a place now, soon our visions will get clearer, our hearts will know their destinations and our mind will no longer know stay lost. Just patience, hard to ask but only patience, positivity and looking forward what can help us to get out of this. πŸ™‚

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Rain, sun, repeat.

In my country, spring is like life. You can’t know when is it going to rain or the sun is going to shine.

Just like life. You get dressed, put a smile on your face and step out of your house wishing for a good day ahead of you. But then you come back home with the smile faded and just wish that you would let go of all what happened that day. Other days, you wake up cursing that day, that time, and you get dressed and go yurt because you have to. Then the day surprises you! And you return back home wishing to never let go of that day’s memories and sleep with the biggest smile on your face. Just like the weather here. Some days are rainy and blue but other are sunny and warm.

We can’t have sunny days all the time. I know you wish we did, but imagine with me. We are happy everyday, a day will come that we badly wanna cry, scream, get angry. At least now if your life is not going that sunshiny, you can always wish for those day. Instead of having a sunshiny life and wishing for rainy days.

My point is that bad and good days are what make our life has a meaning, what makes our life not boring or meaningless in fact. Like if you kept watching happy movies all the time or sad ones. Eventually, one day you will be done with it. Therefore, just praise the days we live and always keep hoping for sunshiny days. πŸ˜‰

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Fed up yet?

We all have that person who makes you help him with their job/assignment and guess what! They don’t even remember you on normal bases. You are their favorite when a deadline is coming up or exams are just around the corner. There is that other type that uses you for who you are, like money, connections, intelligence and the worst part? They show that they care about you even though they are using you.

Those exactly the type of people who you always have the urge to punch them in the face. However, you don’t and mostly you end up doing what they wanted in the first place. I mean I am even mad writing about them, that my typing speed is faster than light now.

I know they are annoying, but they exist and they are not going to go away any time soon. It doesn’t matter how much you try to build your walls or make your boarders clear, they find their way e-v-e-r-y t-i-m-e. Therefore, don’t bother, just find a way to keep them within the space you want them to be.

I mean sometimes they actually need the help and it’s not affecting you, then so what. Helping is good, but not always though. In other words, just help when you can and when you can’t or will affect you then simply and politely just refuse. Some don’t understand words, right?! No problem! We are going to let them understand. Turn them down once, twice, probably they will catch up on the idea that you can’t or not able to help them. If after all of that they are still showing “disrespect” then unfortunately, their hearts might be a little broken. Just be brave and say it! Though try saying it in a good way. πŸ˜€

I know, not helping is a bad thing but sometimes, there are people who don’t need help but still they want to know what you got. Like that guy in college that would get straight As but still asks you about the answers of questions that he already knows, just to know what you got extra. Those are not help, that’s called time wasting. Instead, you could use that time to help someone who is really in need of help, like yourself or that other guy in the same class who really tries his best to learn the lesson but he can’t just keep up with the professor.

That was a long one, but at the end I hope I could show my idea in the best meaning of it. Some people really deserve to be helped and allowed in our lives. On the other hand, unfortunately, some don’t, they would just cause troubles more than anything. And my point here is to keep them away, for your own and everybody around you who you care about’s sake.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

A dose of keeping up

Do you ever get the feeling that you want to just disappear to thin air?! Like you never existed or as if this whole life is just a dream/nightmare and you wake up into an easier life or more of an adrenaline rushed one? Just starting from the top. I do, and every night.

Lately, life hasn’t been going anyway easier or less complicated if even it’s passing by. Today is like tomorrow just like yesterday but with more stress, deadlines or troubles. It’s even hard to tell the days sometimes. C’est la vie!

However, when you think it can never go anywhere past this, you find it coming your way as fast as it can. Troubles of life I mean. But after all, a night out with your friends or family, a movie night with your boyfriend/girlfriend, or a nice book with a cup of your favorite drink and the best music would actually feel worthy after all the bad, weird days you pass. Although good times go by so fast, it’s sweet memories won’t fade.

Sometimes you hit rock bottom, but just remember that when you do that’s when it’s the least you can get and it will be the time to rise. And remember, most people are incredibly talented at dragging you down or turning their backs or even better! Stab you in the back. Again, c’est la vie! I like a quote from Harvey Specter , Suits The Tv show. He said ” Let them hate. Just make sure they spell your name right.” In fact, let them hate! Better than loving you in your face and hating you behind your back. People who care about you are the ones who you will find by your side at the hardest times. Not the ones who remember you when it’s their benefit or to spend good time with you. They are the ones who want to be next to you at your hardest times. If you found the person, then lucky you!

I know that all of that is nothing new, I might have even said those words a lot in many of my previous blogs. But, an extra dose to make us keep up with life isn’t bad after all. Right?!

Remember, you are a magnificent weirdo just like me, and people like us are rare to find πŸ˜‰ πŸ˜€

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

People are the weirdest

It has been so long since my last blog, but life hasn’t been that easy and the reason? People, people, people. We are really weird a mystery that will never be solved.

People forget you within a night. If they want.

You know that feeling that you’ve been just talking to that person the night before and then comes the next day as if you last night was a day dream, you have never opened to this one. However, if they want something from you, oh my god! You will be like their best friend for life, that you might even think that you are going to be his best man or her bridesmaid, until they get what you have, or what they want from you.

Some are real though.

Just to be fair, not all of them. Some approaches you with good, real intention. It’s rare and not all of us meet that kind of people who really want to be friends with us or care for us. It’s hard these days to know who’s good and who’s bad but time and situations show us the good, real ones. Everything comes at a price after all. So just watch out for who really cares for you and who would hit your back with a sharp knife.

We are only human after all.

I get that with the hard life we are living, it became harder to find the right people or trust people, but isn’t that tiring? It is. I mean we are humans, we need to have friends, families, people we love. I know that but the falling apart always comes after trusting the wrong person. And it doesn’t matter how much we get warned we just fall for it, it has nothing to do with our IQ. Smart or not has nothing to do with our guts or feelings. We are human, we do mistakes ALL THE TIME AND WE WILL KEEP DOING THEM. The point here is how hard are we willing to fall apart because of that person? Here comes the IQ.

Forest

As I told you above what made me away for long was life and everyday I suffer from people. Their bad ambitions that can be built on the wreckage of your own ambitious and successes. That’s how life made us. a huge, big forest and we are fighting each other. The question here, how long are we willing to keep fighting?

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Standards are made not met

Lately, I’ve been thinking if standards that are just there how are they just there? I mean someone must have made them and as they are made then we can made ours too, right?

Success & Failure

For instance, the success or failure, are two standards that are measured in many ways; like grades for example. It’s true that having a high grade can show how good you are collecting information, but it has absolutely nothing to do with your success, or creativity. I mean having high grades can show that you are good in understanding your lessons and studying but it’s not necessary an indication of a success in practical life and I think that’s a common knowledge that most of us are told or know by first hand experience. So, the concept of success and failure comes in many other ways like your personal life too. I mean not because you were never in a relationship before, then you can’t be in one. Maybe you are one who appreciate it so much and really committed that you are just waiting for the right person. Same for your practical life. Not because you are just photocopying papers in an office then you can’t do the higher jobs. Who knows? Maybe your boss doesn’t know how to use the photocopier. πŸ˜€

My point is…

We are different, we are really good in different standards that not all will understand, just like many standards in our society that never make sense to us, but a big deal for others. Therefore, somehow we made our own standards as we move on in this life. As long as we meet them, then we are fortunate! We are the ones who would show people how important are our standards. Maybe they will never understand but they might appreciate it. As we do appreciate theirs.

One day,

Life might be easier. More thoughtful and hopeful, with less high standards that can be so high and crushing for some people. Praise the real you in you, then maybe you can find the peace, success and happiness you were searching for.

 

One wish

If while shopping for the new year’s you passed by an antique shop and found an old lamp that you liked, then you bought it. After going home you tried to clean the dust on it and a genie came out of the lamp and asked you to wish one wish, only one. What would you wish?

(P.S. wishing to have more than one wish is not allowed πŸ˜€ )

For me, I would wish to relive all the moments of happiness that I lived for my first things, like my first mobile phone, yeah I am old enough that when i was a child mobile phones weren’t that easy to get one as a child, or my first big toy or my first trip with my family, or my first time I went to the beach. More and more, countless moments that as I grew up, they started to fad. the feeling for anything new meant a new start that would mean more responsibility or actually being an adult. Like my first day at university. I got the university I want, I was so happy but then I remembered that it’s just the start for something bigger. Life would never be easy as it used to be.

But the saddest part? That somehow with all the stress or new planning for life ahead I forgot along how to be that happy. Purely happy, just like a child. True, I learned how to be differently happy like learning new things or even being behind the wheel for the first time, yeah I like cars. That’s a different kind of happiness, maybe adulthood happiness, the one that comes with it’s worried or danger. It felt and tasted differently but never like the careless happiness of childhood.

What are you wishes? Share them below in the comments, maybe you can find you wish-mate.

Happy New Year Everyone! Wish this year brings you that happiness, success that you want and get you closer with who you love.

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

Music and our lives, no IS our lives

I was watching a movie today and it was all about a guy who lived his life remembering songs, their years of composition and stories behind them. The idea of the movie was so good as his life, work and even love of his life was all related to music, then he wrote a book called “music and our lives”

What do you do when you wake up in the morning? If I know you for a little bit, I would say that it starts with music wether while having coffee or breakfast or in the car or walking to your workplace/school/university/college or even running in the morning or just listening to it so you say can begin. I think that’s what most people do, but by time music became not only “music and our lives” it became our lives itself.

It’s my loyal friend, who is always there for me. The one who stands by my side when I am sad and makes me even happier when I am happy. It became even my escape when I find no place to run to. The one who helps me get through the day everyday. A part of my day and obviously my life.

Life has been not easy for all of us, it has it’s ups and downs all the time and we cannot stop it. It’s life. But we can find us a boat to pass us to the land in such a storm. Mine has always been music, writing and books. Whenever I listen to music I always travelled away from my real world. With all it’s types. Classic music drove me to peaceful world where my mind found peace like never before. Pop has made me energetic and keeping the game on. Acoustic has always made me find myself as if I am in a place where no one can find me just me and the sky. Each type has it’s own specific taste for me. Even memories, some songs remind me of happy songs or sad ones like pictures. But it differs from pictures as it gave me the feelings that I couldn’t get from pictures.

Therefore, who ever is your loyal friend or your escape don’t lose. As one day when you can find no one or no where to go to; remember you have yourself and your escape πŸ˜‰

Always welcomed to the corner,

Menna Xx

It’s not by the number

The number of people that get into your life can be so important to you that you forget that one day they might get out of it. In fact, you celebrate, chat and laugh as if you will never cry of this person. As if your laughs sound will ring in the sky forever.

Friendships, love stories, families and relatives. All of those are people who shape us, make us rougher with a thicker skin or make us lightheaded with a smiling heart and peaceful mind. Those same people can make your looks change, crash that smiling heart. It comes in waves. There’s nothing always the same or guaranteed.

However, what I can guarantee is that the more people get into your life, into your heart. The more it will get crushed, the thicker your skin will get and the more your looks will change. I wish people understand that the moment we welcome them to our lives, we are not just considering them people, they are a part of our story now. They have at least a role or two in each chapter of my life. Even when they are gone or left for better or worse they will always be remembered. They are simply parts of the big book of our life stories. We are all parts of each other’s life books.

Therefore, it’s just not by the number of people who are in your life. It’s just by the number of warm smiles, kind hearts around you. People who wish you the best. They appreciate you, unlike others who consider you piece of the puzzle, that if they lost it or ruined it, it won’t matter as you can be replaced with other pieces to complete their life.

We are way more valuable than that. You are way way more valuable that that. We deserve that kind of people who without them life really can’t keep going for them or for us. We are not disposable. We, humans, are much more weaker than glass we just look like titanium.

So, be careful who you allow to your life, and remember that it’s not by the number of people but what’s inside them.

Always welcomed the corner,

Menna Xx